An Open Call for Advertisement

Wendy's

Thanks all for the support on the blog so far.  As of today, I have 478 views on the blog.  Unless you are reading this right now, then its 479.  Or maybe you came after that so its 480.  In any case, its been fun and I’m trying to keep up some pace of content in the beginning.  I plan to have a good mix of the serious and absurd.  In reading and talking to people about blogs, it seems that blogs can be a lucrative source of revenue.  So I thought I would give advertisers a little taste of what they can expect by reviewing a few products I have purchased over the past week.  But let’s be clear, I will not be advertising illegal products on here.  So if anyone reading this blog feels their flavor of crack is especially delicious and marketable, then you are out of luck.

Tonight after church, not a Seventh Day Adventist or anything, my church is just temporarily meeting on Saturday nights, I drove the fam through the Wendy’s drive thru Window.  I bought the Spicy Chicken Sandwich combo.  Wendy’s, you do make a good spicy chicken sandwich.  It was crispy and spicy.  You see Wendy’s how I kept it simple?  Crispy and Spicy.  People love simple. Not sure what you expect from your Spicy Chicken Sandwich but mediocre American just wants those two.  However, I started to wonder as I was eating this chicken sandwich, where does your chicken sandwich stand on gay marriage.

You see I know what a Chik-fil-A chicken sandwich thinks about the issue.  Burger King has decided to wrap themselves in pride wrappers so that the person eating it knows where that chicken sandwich stands.  I’m personally avoiding McDonald’s because Russia has deemed them unhealthy.  Thanks Putin for clarifying that one.  But Wendy’s?  Where are you at on it?  I don’t particularly care where you stand on the message, but my chicken sandwich tastes unnecessarily ambiguous when you don’t claim it.  So my final review is this, Eat Wendy’s and taste the most ambiguous chicken sandwich you will ever eat.  I’ll wait to hear from you Wendy’s.  I expect you see the potential and I figure we can just split the profits.  What do you say we go halfsies on it all?

Next review, Sonic.  This week at Sonic, after my Softball game, I stopped to get my wife a Sonic blast.  Last week she texted me indicating that she was having a pregnancy craving for a Sonic Reeses Peanut Butter Blast.  However, I didn’t see the text as I was playing basketball.  I came home, she stared at me. She kind of had the look of a slighted panther, but in an awesomely beautiful way. After showering, I saw the text and realized my error.  Well, fast forward to this Thursday and my phone dies before the game.  Well, as George W. Bush eloquently said in that fool me twice saying, not this time.  Despite having no text, I made sure to stop by Sonic and pick up a delicious Sonic Reeses Peanut Butter Blast.

This blast was seemingly delicious as both my wife and 5 year old daughter enjoyed it. So here is my sales line Sonic:  Eat Sonic Blasts, so good a pregnant woman and 5 year old will eat it.  Think of the market Sonic, there are pregnant women everywhere! And since people really like to do it, this trend will probably continue.   And, the best part, everyone is 5 years old once.  So nail this tactic and you can sell a Sonic blast to every person in the world.  Even the Queen, because she was 5 once too.  But I think back to my experience ordering at Sonic.  I never carry cash and always pay with a card.  I know I have heard that Sonic car hops work for tips, but there needs to be more explicit direction.  Also, when you pay with a card, you obviously don’t have enough cash.  So why not add a button after swiping the card that goes ahead and confirms with the car hop that I don’t have cash on me.

For when I get my order, I know the game.  She hands me my bag, asks me if I need ketchup, salt or mints, then hands me my receipt.  That’s the three pronged slow delivery system designed to indicate how much work it was and give me ample time to tip.  But I don’t have cash.  You should know this already.  My order was $2.50 and I used a card to pay for it.  So now I must endure the slow delivery of the receipt while that gleaming smile that handed my my order slowly turns to  anguish and anger when she realizes this guy is about to stiff her on the tip.  But I’m still on your side Sonic.  Sonic treats, where the food is as delicious as the servers are jilted.

I’ll speed this up and give you a few other advertisement tag lines and product reviews in bullet fashion.

– China Spring take out off Houston Levee an Macon.  Great food.  But to the lady who wasn’t looking in the parking lot and almost hit me and had the nerve to roll down her window and yell at me, to which I rolled down my window and replied “Why are you yelling at me Lady, you were the one not looking.”  Boom Lady, you just got burned. On a blog.  Seen by dozens.  But Seriously, China Spring is good take out.

– Starbucks – Coffee so good I only go there when i have a gift card.  I’m out of gift cards now.  So Starbucks I’ll blog about your coffee if you send me gift cards so I can afford said coffee about which to blog.

-Taco Bell – Beefy 5 layer burrito for $1.29 is so cheap your wife won’t get on to you even though you said you were not going to eat out anymore this week.  Cheap food for husbands who go back on what they said about food.  Big market, fellas, big market.

Anyway, that’s all I got.  If anyone happens to know the CEO or advertising guy, I assume they all have advertising guy  of Wendy’s, Sonic, Starbucks, and Taco Bell.  Please share this with them and lets get this started. I am pretty sure I know the CEO of China Spring as it was likely the same lady who gave me my food.  But thanks all for the shares and likes.  Feel free to comment on the blogs as I am figuring all this stuff out.  Last post for the weekend.

Jeff Edwards