I do not have a surplus of throat punches to go around, but if I did I would issue one to every individual who told me it was a joke that General James Mad Dog Mattis could be President. Less than one year ago, I wrote an article, Top 5 Reasons General Mattis Should Be President, which went viral as it garnered the support of every American with a brain. But alas, I was told that he could never be President because he speaks too brashly as a Marine General and the country couldn’t handle it. Well, let me introduce you to GOP frontrunner, Donald Trump. I am not going to spend any time trashing Donald Trump in this article although I will go ahead and tell you my opinion of him is less than favorable. To me, his campaign is the political equivalent to Brawndo from the movie Idiocracy and I apparently should vote for him because he keeps telling me he has electrolytes and that is what plants crave. Just my opinion, if you can’t handle the sight of contrary thought, then might I suggest it is not thought you seek, but the comfort of your mother patting you on the head telling you it’s okay darling. Yet, it seems America is thirsting for a candidate who speaks his mind with little reservation and hails from outside the typical political pipeline. But let us imagine a world where that mind is not covered by a Toupee and is instead resting within the battle hardened gray hairs of the brilliant General James Mattis.
Frontrunner Donald Trump called news analyst, Megyn Kelly a bimbo. While knowing bimbo was derogatory, I truthfully couldn’t tell you the exact definition of bimbo until I consulted Professor Dr. Wiki Pedia. According to them, a “Bimbo” is a derogatory slang term for an attractive but unintelligent female. I get it, Kelly is cute and Trump didn’t like what she said. Meanwhile, General Mattis was derided for saying it was a hoot to shoot the men who slap women around in Afghanistan. The monster who used an antiquated term to convey that it was a joy for the strong to protect the innocent is clearly unfit for the executive branch.
Look, Donald Trump has spoken a few words I like. America has a border security problem and whether Donald Trump or Kim Kardashian speak of it, the truth is none the less. But let us examine where such words originate. General James Mattis is an accomplished warrior who has the respect and love of everyone associated with his leadership. The man is General Maximus Decimus Meridius incarnate and I challenge you to tell me he would not command the immediate allegiance and votes of legions of veterans across this nation. Words are powerful creatures and should we take the time to consider the man from which they emanate more than the words themselves, we might strike gold.
The Brand and Deity of Self
Granted, America seems enamored with Donald Trump at the moment. After all, the man has been in the spotlight since at least the 80’s and he has done quite a job remaining in the spotlight whether it be moonlighting on WWE wrestling broadcasts or firing celebrities on a reality show. But let me tell you a story about General Mattis. During his tenure as Commandant of the Marine Corps, General Krulak delivered cookies to Marines on duty in the D.C. area on Christmas day which seems like an unusually swell thing for a Marine to do. Upon arriving at one station in Quantico, the Commandant asked a young Marine who the officer of the day was. The Marine replied, Brigadier General Mattis.
Thinking the Marine was confused, the Commandant asked the Marine who slept in that cot designated for the Officer on Duty for Christmas. The Marine responded, “Sir, Brigadier General Mattis.” At that time, General Mattis arrived around the corner to explain a young Major with a family was designated for duty on Christmas. Confused, the Commandant asked General Mattis to explain. He elaborated that why should a man with a family miss out on Christmas fun when he could serve in his stead. And with that, a General in the United States Marine Corps stood post on Christmas day for one of his men. Now I ask, would you prefer the billionaire playboy or the General to hold the key to your Democracy?
Why I Drink
America with likely a 90% rate despises the political establishment. The most conservative and liberal opponents would French kiss till the sun came up if we could find a unifying and competent personality to be our president. But sadly, blue balls are in order for the American public as we are denied Maximus and given a tyrant like Jaoquin Phoenix with an old man’s red baseball cap. It could have been General Mattis America and this time it is no joke. In light of Donald Trump, when people tell me it is a joke for Mattis to be President, I look at them with angry Joe Pesci eyes and ask if I am their freaking clown here to amuse them.
General Mattis has reiterated time and time again that he will not run for President no matter how many times I tell him it makes me weep in the corner of my shower. But the ascendancy of Donald Trump makes me realize just how great America could have been because the world was ready for Mattis 2016. I want you to view the video above. It is about 30 minutes, but I pray you can delay your viewing of the Bachelor or Keeping up with the Kardashians for so long to be enlightened. Tell me if the man you see above who carries with him the readings of Marcus Aurelius seems like an intellect. Tell me if the man you see above could pound Mr. Trump or Hillary into the ground. Tell me, if the man you see above can be your President. Mattis 2016 America. This could have been your future and we were closer than ever.
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