The Brutal Truth About The National Guard Resting In A Parking Garage

No one cares. I hate to spoil the basic theme of this article so early on, but no one cares about the National Guard resting in a covered parking garage as opposed to the Capitol Building. No. One. Cares. To be quite honest, I don’t think the National Guard cares and they would likely prefer the rest of the internet quit posting about it because they are embarrassed. They are the same type embarrassed you get when your mom shows up to football practice and asks why her baby boo isn’t getting any playing time. My fellow Americans, the National Guard is just fine. Now, I thought this before I realized that the National Guard was just resting in the parking garage. Little did I know, this is where they were just spending their down time. Each National Guardsman was still sleeping in either a hotel or nearby base for the evening. That’s when I got bitter old man Marine Corps angry. The National Guard did a fantastic job ensuring our inauguration was safe and I’ll say it again before you embarrass them further, No One Cares that they rested in a parking garage. They don’t care. Let me explain.

Mom Stop It, The Marines Are Watching

For those from outside of the military branches, we like to make fun of each other. It’s kind of our thing. Now, despite the fact that the National Guard serves a vital role in our nation’s security and its ranks are also filled with prior active duty, it ain’t easy being the national guard in a military smack talk fest.

No disrespect to that man above as that’s an old photo and I’m sure he’s hit the P90X pretty hard since. Friends, do you know what luxury it would be in the Marine Corps to sleep in a covered garage. I’m not even going to go deployment yet as you obviously can’t compare the conditions in Iraq or Afghanistan to D.C. However, there are not words to explain the misery of field conditions in simple training environments to explain how beautiful a covered parking garage looks to a Marine.

Do you know what I call a deployment where I get to hang out with the Marines I miss dearly for a week and I get to “rest” in a parking garage, but “sleep” in a hotel and everyone keeps bringing us free pizza? I call that libbo my friends. That’s weekend libbo where one of the Marines lives close enough to Camp Pendleton so you chill at his house and his mom feeds you good food and doesn’t care if you come home tipsy type libbo. Look, I realize it is easy to politicize anything in this day and age, but for the love of all that is military misery, stop embarrassing the National Guard with your outrage.

Let’s Talk National Guard in D.C.

Briefly, let’s speak to the politics of it all. The National Guard was in D.C. because of the Capitol riot and I’m ok with that. I’m glad nothing happened and I think the purpose was more in line with the notion that “if you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.” The overwhelming presence kept many otherwise good Americans at bay and they didn’t ruin their lives for some Qanon conspiracy. Seriously, you should look up the emotional devastation many Qanons had when Biden was inaugurated. It’s sad man. That’s why the National Guard was there and they did their job.

America, your National Guard is just fine. Leave them alone. If you want to cry for someone, cry for those deployed. You are sad the national guard had a one port o potty, but there are places we go where a port o potty is like a toilet at the Hilton Hotel. I know it was cold, but I’ve been in the field where the water in your canteen or Camelback is freezing. Yes, the ground is hard, but we didn’t have cots in Iraq for the first couple of months. I know I’m sounding like the grumpy old man Marine, but that’s ok, because in my day it was miserable to be in the field or deployment and we like it that way!

Chattanooga Marines

Seriously, they are just fine and you’re embarrassing them. They need to be able to go home and tell their girlfriend that the reason they couldn’t immediately text them back was because they were in the crossfire between a MAGA sniper and an ANTIFA VBED. You are ruining their deployment! In all seriousness, thanks to the NG for doing their jobs and in all seriousness, quit embarrassing the NG. They are just fine. I’m a grumpy old Marine but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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Jeff Edwards