If you are not aware, today is the day that Scottish citizens are heading to the polls to vote on whether or not to declare independence from the United Kingdom. That’s right, apparently they can do that. Who knew. Well, as the article title states, I am 100% in favor of Scotland forming their own country. Now you might ask of what concern is it to an American such as myself. Well let me give you 3 reasons for all Americans to pull for Scottish Independence.
1. Scottish people running around everywhere yelling, FREEDOM, will be epic! That’s right, its a Braveheart reference. The epic Mel Gibson film forever enshrined in our minds that English people have been oppressing Scottish citizens for centuries. Now I am not entirely sure this has been going on this past century, but that is of no concern. The point is, if they get their independence then they can yell this, and we know they will. They have seen the movie. They can yell it loud and long. Britain will rue the day the disemboweled William Wallace and the day to be rued will be today. Freedom my Scottish friends, freedom.
2. Scotland will be a Nuclear Power. That’s right, its true, look it up. All of Great Britain’s nukes are housed in Scotland. Now, I am sure Great Britain will want them back, and some arrangement will likely be made for that to happen. But just for a minute, Scotland will be a Nuclear Power. Think of all William Wallace could have done with a couple of Nukes. Perhaps we can even convince Scotland to drop one on ISIS. Or maybe, just maybe, Scotland will use the threat of Nukes to launch an invasion of England and dispose of the Queen. Whatever the case, I like the idea of a Nuclear Scotland.
3. Legion’s of bagpipes and kilts. When I say legions, I am directly referring to their military might. It will be entirely disappointing if Scotland doesn’t march into battle somewhere playing the bagpipes and wearing kilts. Nearly every good movie made about Scotland has that scene in it and I think us American movie goers are well withing our rights to expect this from the newly formed nation. In college, one of my roommates was a fervent supporter of Scotland and when dormitory shenanigans were about to take place he would break out the bagpipes. Now I don’t know if you have had your shenanigans take place to the sound of bagpipes, but trust me, shenanigans are always better with bagpipes. Always.
So those are my quick 3 reasons that every American should support this vote for Scottish independence. I don’t know anyone in Scotland, but if I did, I would be lobbying them heavily for a Yes vote. If you know someone who is a Scottish citizen call them up now, and tell them to quit accepting the scraps from Longshank’s table and take what is their God given right. For Scotland. Freedom.
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