To be clear, I had never really lost it, but it is quite easy these days to become discouraged at the state of the country and the human race in general really.  Yet, I have had a breath of fresh air, Montana air to be specific and I am feeling as energized and patriotic as ever.  If you follow this blog regularly and wonder why I have not posted as often, it is in fact because I am in the process of relocating to the Pacific Northwest over the summer and it has been quite a busy and draining two months.  However, time is now my ally again and I foresee that events over the next couple of months will most certainly be getting the Unprecedented Mediocrity treatment.  But let’s talk about Montana.


I have had the fortune to travel many places in the United States and the world, but this trip was my first to the Northwest.  Travelling from the south, it took me through Iowa, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, and eventually Washington State.  If nothing else, this trip impressed upon me just how big America really is in a new way.  Valleys, rivers, Mountains, plains, I mean the whole lot of it was on display in all its God given glory.  And I have to tip my hat to Montana, it might be home to some of the most American territory I have ever seen.

Jade Helm 2015

Sorry, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and D.C., you guys can suck a big bowl of Montana fresh clean air, Montana is as American as it gets. Granted, I literally think they have more cows than people, but as a lover of a good Ribeye, you get no complaints from me. So if you are a reader of Unprecedented Mediocrity and from Montana or the surrounding states, hats off to you fellas.  But let me finally explain why this restored my hope for America.

America is Indomitable

Yes, I am throwing down the gauntlet that a drive through Montana has convinced me that the United States of America is absolutely indomitable. I know America, curtesy of the Internet likes to freak us out from time to time, but never forget just how big America actually is.  To put it in perspective, Montana at 147,000 plus square miles is only slightly smaller than the entire nation of Iraq.  You do remember Iraq, don’t you?


You see, Iraq is a nation of 33 million people in a land slightly larger than Montana that is causing Americans to literally poop their pants.  Meanwhile, we basically have an entire nation of Iraq, i.e. Montana, with only a little over a million people in it that we pretty much are not doing that much with.  It is as if Uncle Sam was cleaning out his garage one day and was like, “Aww snap, I totally forgot I had Montana out here.”  Montaninites, or whatever you are called, don’t take that as an insult.  Again, I think Montana is gorgeous and being forgotten about by Uncle Sam is not exactly too bad of a thing these days.

Jade Helm

You know what else I saw driving across America this past week?  Jade Helm, Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn!  That’s right, evidence of Jade Helm Everywhere!  Driving over 2,500 miles, I saw on three separate occasions a flatbed truck carrying military Humvees.  For what purpose does our Government have to transport military Humvees across America?  Enslaving the American population, that’s what. Surely, it couldn’t be to transport a common military vehicle from one point to another.  Nope there is one answer and one answer only, Jade Helm, Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnn.

Ok, if you didn’t pick up on the sarcasm, let me go ahead and clue you in, that was sarcasm.   Here is what else a drive through Montana convinced me of.  Conspiracy theories are crap.  I know some of you love them and you think the worst to happen.  However, let me pose the question to you.  Out of all the disastrous scenarios you have worried about, how many have yet to come true.  Do you own a gun?  If so, do you still have possession of it?  Are we still free to openly criticize the Government?  Let’s test, hey Obama and Congress,  Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Yep, still here, no FBI kicking down my door yet.  I really don’t mean to mock you who might have gotten sucked in to this, but more to mock those who spread this crap.

Look, the point is this.  The United States of America does not have enough military personnel to conquer America and it’s 300 million privately owned guns that we know about.  I said it in another article, but most of the military are guys like me and you.  And special forces guys?  Like 90% conservative patriot.  We should always remain vigilant about our liberties, but we should do so on planet earth.  If goat rapers in the Mountains of Afghanistan still fight America 14 years after an invasion then, citizens, hunters, and military trained Veterans can hold their own in the mountains of Montana, or East Tennessee, or Wyoming.  America is freaking huge people.  We are not going anywhere.  So again, take this advice from a blogger, the next time you see a fear mongering headline, like “The Chinese are Coming to Collect on their Debt”, please count the ads you see when you click.  I bet it is a bunch and I bet you are paying the author’s mortgage while he banks on your fear.


America is not going anywhere people.  Not at the hands of our own government or at the hands of another.   If you don’t believe me, then just go stand on a mountain in Montana and yell Molon Labe.  No one is coming because it would be suicide to do so.  Rather, if America does become enslaved, it will be our own doing.  For why imprison Americans in empty Wal-marts when you can enslave them with debt and their own meaningless distractions, aka Bruce Jenner’s missing Wang.  A glass prison we never knew existed is the only way to enslave us and it can only happen if we allow it by focusing on the wrong boogey man.

So, don’t let the internet get you down people.  Rejoice that you live in America and rejoice that places like Montana exists.  If you don’t believe me, go visit it yourself and tell them Unprecedented Mediocrity sent you.  They will say, “Who?”, but tell them anyway. To a future without precedent my friends, to a future without precedent.

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One Reply to “A Drive Through Montana Restored My Hope for America”

  1. Whole heartedly agree. Came from the west coast to WY a decade ago and thank God for it!

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