Unprecedented Mediocrity

The news broke this week that a Marine Veteran of Fallujah, Michael Delfin, was assaulted by two men of the Air Force after they mistakenly or maliciously called out Delfin for Stolen Valor.  Suffering a broken leg and jaw, Delfin now has what is likely a painful recovery because two douchebags who probably spent their deployment time wiping the testicle sweat off fighter pilots couldn’t or wouldn’t give a Marine Veteran the benefit of the doubt.  Being a Marine Veteran of Iraq myself, circa 2003, I feel like I need to put out a few disclaimers to the world about Stolen Valor since such an incident could occur to a legit Marine brother. That is me in the picture above. I’m near the far right, I promise, I’m there, really!

I’m not going to be happy.

If you stop me for Stolen Valor, I’m probably not going to be too happy about it.  Since I don’t walk around in uniform anymore and I typically only wear the subtle Marine swag, if you stop me because of Stolen Valor that likely means you think I am too fat to be a Marine.  Or perhaps it is my scruffy beard or the fact that I don’t sing a little diddy of cadence to myself when I walk in and out of the grocery store.  The only reason you would have to stop me is that I am wearing some sort of subtle reference to my service and by the looks of me, you don’t buy it.  So screw you first of all.  I’m not going to treat you like the police and produce my identification or papers just because some Nazi boot asks me.  Just start a casual conversation with me and all should be clear soon.

Veteran Stolen Valor

Second, in addition to not being happy, understand that I am most certainly going to mess with you as I know you had no real reason to stop me.  If you have followed this blog long enough, you know that absurdity is my muse.  And since I am confident in my Veteran status, I’m going to jack with you as much as I can from a position of strength. About 15 years ago, when up for a meritorious promotion as I recall, I once told a Marine board of Staff NCOs and an Officer that the first female Marine was Polly Poontang because I couldn’t remember the real answer when asked.  Surprisingly, I didn’t get that particular promotion.  But just know that I want to see the reaction on your face when I tell you that I was part of the 54th Massachusettes.  Get em 54th!

I don’t remember everything.

I saw a video where some dude was getting called out for legitimate Stolen Valor.  But the real Veteran was asking him all these obscure uniform regulations.  I remember thinking, dude I’d be busted because I can’t remember any of that stuff.  If you call me out for Stolen Valor by asking me to quote the UCMJ to you or even recite my general orders, I’m going to be scratching my head.  Fellow Warriors, if I have to pull out my recruit knowledge book from boot camp just to walk among you then we are in trouble.  I might even tell you General Krulak is the current Commandant if you ask me.  Then, I’ll likely tell you that Gunny Highway was my Platoon Seargent.

Marine Tattoo policy

Knowledge is generational and things can change quickly.  I served with Kilo Company, 3rd Battalion 23rd Marines from 1997 to 2003.  I enjoyed one tour to Iraq in 2003 and upon returning, I was out.  When I got out, they were just issuing us the digital cammies.  So how would one of you younger Marines like it if I walked up to you and said, “Hey Devil Dog, that doesn’t look like an iron on Eagle Globe and Anchor to me.”  Or perhaps, “Hey their Devil Pup, where is the polish on your boots?  Don’t you know uniform regulations require polished boots?”

Marine beat up for Stolen Valor

Honestly, why not just call the above guy out for Stolen Valor then?  I bet he doesn’t know the characteristics of the M-16.  Freaking poser, he said he got wounded when the ramp dropped on his landing craft.  Everyone knows the door opens from the rear on an AAV.  Bust him, call him out brothers!

Stolen Valor

To be clear, I support the mission of Stolen Valor.  I think for men of sound mind to rob from the experiences of men, many who never survived their war, is absolutely egregious.  I just support those who do it right.  I also think that for most of these Stolen Valor douches, the only thing they are missing more than actual military service is a chromosome or two.  They have some serious mental health problems.  I mean why not start beating up every hungry homeless man with a sign that says hungry Veteran because he was false flagging on cardboard.  There is a process to going about this the right way and I suggest you google it while you are sitting at the bar steaming about the guy in a Marine hat who just doesn’t look right to you. 20140813211146!Gangs_of_New_York_-_Five_Points_-_screenshot

However, I don’t support the roaming band of vigilante veterans who are looking to question anyone with any subtle reference to military service like a band of misfits from Gangs of New York. Ease up brothers.  It really is not that hard to tell if someone is legit or not through a casual conversation.  After all, if you are really just determined to beat up someone for Stolen Valor, just walk into your local Applebee’s this Veteran’s Day and start throwing punches tornado style.  You will hit more than one in your first 30 seconds, I guarantee it.  Best of luck in your recovery Michael Delfin and to the Air Force douches who assaulted him, may you be found quickly, hopefully by Marines, and subsequently, educated.  Like the Unprecedented Mediocrity Facebook Page Below for More Common Sense. 

[efb_likebox fanpage_url=”unprecedentedmediocrity” box_width=”250″ box_height=”” locale=”en_US” responsive=”1″ show_faces=”1″ show_stream=”0″ hide_cover=”0″ small_header=”0″ hide_cta=”0″ ]

14 Replies to “Before Beating Me Up for Stolen Valor, Please Read This:”

  1. I’m in total agreement with you Jeff. I think that the Marine in question should file assault charges against these two air force pukes. The air force should also take action. I’m a Viet Nam Vet and I would be hard pressed to remember any of the General Orders, but don’t anyone ever doubt that I served. I served in the Air Wing of the Marine Corps and catch a lot of flack for being a so called POG which doesn’t bother me that much. I just invoke the saying “Air Wing Marine–Saving grunts asses since 1912”

    Semper Fi

  2. Again, AWESOME article. I often wear marine corps t’s and hats and proudly display my service in my high school classroom(I am a hs math teacher). But, I, too would be sorely pressed to remember all but a few of the general orders or, probably, anything but the obvious about military dress regs. jeez, it’s been 26 years since I wore my cammies (they were woodland, with Iron-on EGA’s and bloused above my polished black boots, and they were a bit smaller than the size I would need now, by the way) I don’t remember everything from that green book from boot camp. But, I still live the Marine Corps principles, and draw from my experiences while serving, every day of my existence! I think your article gives a much-needed sense of perspective on this. These worthless sacks of meat that pretend to be what they never could earn, should be called out when it is obvious. But there is a process, and be careful, my brothers, that we are not calling out someone who has just been out long enough, or has mentally put some distance between their present circumstances and their service, that they may have forgotten some of the little things about our beloved Corps…..not to mention, if they really did serve in The Corps, you may get more of a fight than you expected! “Not as lean, But still as Mean”

  3. I was in the Marines twenty years ago. If you asked me about Marine uniform codes, well, I would just laugh at you. But not matter what, it is not proper to attack anyone about this. Even if this is a case of stolen valor, it should not resort to violence.

  4. I feel you brother, I would have retired last year with 30 if I hadn’t gotten a medical discharge. I was issued BDU’s and black boots and an M-16A1 (till they had me humping a Pig {M-60}) and I ate Meals Rejected by Ethiopians, now I have a pony tail and a gut. I still served proudly with my own father and uncle in my unit (Bravo and Delta companies respectively, I was in Charlie myself). Don’t assume everyone is a poser just because we are not hip to the latest stuff.

  5. I agree completely.

    My husband has been in the army for 22 years and let me tell you, the army he joined then is not the same today. Beside three major shifts in uniform, one in dress uniform, there’s been countless changes in policies and acronyms and hardware (aka weapons, computers, phones, CAC cards, general I.D. Card changes). There’s been upsizing and downsizing, restructuring and merging of brigades.

    He’s been to Bosnia, Kosovo, and Iraq. Each deployment was so different. When we first met, letters were the norm, and maybe a 15 minute phone call every 2 weeks, and then his last deployment I received emails almost every other day.

    People need to approach this issue the right way.

    Also, members of the military should not beat people up regardless of the intent unless there is immediate danger, which in this case there wasn’t. It sheds a bad light on the Air Force and overall on the military.

  6. I met a guy the other day who claimed to be a former recon Doc in Vietnam. the Doc emblem next to the Marine Corps tattoo on his arm, along with the shrapnel scar on his face was enough to convince me. But all you really have to do is talk to someone for a minute to confirm. It is funny though how many combat grunts, snipers, SF and Seals you meet. Almost makes me feel like a liar to say I was infantry.

  7. All of the SV interrogations I’ve seen online were of folks dressed in full military uniforms that are CLEARLY out of regs and stating that they are currently serving (why else would they be wearing a full battle dress uniform in pubic?). I’d like so see any reference to folks being called out for wearing a Veteran sweatshirt or hat commemorating their service claiming it’s Stolen Valor. If someone wants to support their family by wearing commercially produced gear, so be it. Hell, if they want to go so far as to buy a set of ACU’s to parade around, as long as they say they never served and don’t wear ANY patches or accouterments that are designated for the military uniform – or the USCM’s patented digital camo pattern, have at it. You can buy uniforms just about anywhere and use them for hunting, paintball or whatever. Just know that you’re bringing unwanted attention to yourself and will automatically be looked at by real Vets as a douchbag.

  8. Hey mr. Edwards this is Michael Delfin Marine who wrote the outstanding article about I just came across it right now while at work and I appreciate your support and your kind words. I can’t go into detail about the justice that will be served but however the ball is rolling rest assured. It has been a slow recovery but I’m currently working as a security supervisor at a disclosed location things are going well. And to everybody that commented I appreciate your support as well, as for all of the fine young men and women overseas reading this do your job to your fullest take care of the men and women to the left and right of you keep your head on a swivel. Get your ass back home to your loved ones. Semper fi boys you ever in Sacramento feel free to hit me up let’s go have a beer.


Comments are closed.