Oh California, that is just precious.  So precious I included one of your native sons laughing in your face as the cover photo.  No seriously, I have laughed my butt off all day upon hearing the news that California liberals could now start collecting signatures to submit a petition to secede from the Union.  Specifically they are petitioning to change the California constitution so that it no longer declares California an “inseparable part of the United States” and that the constitution is no longer the “supreme law of the land.”  Precious, just precious.  It’s so cute when millennials get angry, isn’t it? For it would seem that with the election of Trump, California is now gunning for a Calexit.  Never mind that we settled this whole secession business back in 1865 and never mind that there is no legal path in the United States for this to happen should the measure even pass.  Let’s just get right down to the hilarious brass tacks about it.  California, if you want to leave the Union you are going to have to fight for it.  And with tears of laughter in my eyes I ask, tears, you and what Army?  Actors are not real fighters darling.

This Ain’t 1861 Sweetheart

After the election of Abraham Lincoln, the southern states feared the man would end one of their most valuable trades.  Now, hailing from the south myself you might think I’m the type of man who would argue the Civil War was about State’s rights and not slavery.  But here’s the thing.  If you were to argue blindly to me that states should have more rights and the federal government ought not interfere I’d enthusiastically support you and then say, “great, so what does our state want to do?”  But when you respond with, “enslave generations of people for the color of the skin and force them to do labor from the moment they are born until death while we own them as property,” I’m going to give you this look.

I’m a southern white male, and I’m here to tell you the Civil War was about slavery.  It was about the south’s desire to keep it and the North’s desire to abolish it.  Brothers fought about it, the North won and end of story.  And for over 150 years it was definitely declared that the United States of America was indeed the Hotel California.  You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

But the South did put up a pretty good fight about it. Because in 1861, the military was more oriented towards state militias and regional fighting forces.  I mean, just look at the names of the units we know from history.  The 54th Massachusetts, 1st North Carolina Calvary, the 13th Louisiana Regiment, and are you catching a theme here?  California does not have a military while the United States has the United States Marine Corps, US Army, US Navy, and US Air Force.  Yes Coast Guard, I left you out intentionally.  LOL, California you want to start a Civil War with the United States Military?  You and what Army? But wait, it gets better.

Guns, Guns, Guns

While I mock California’s attempt at secession, the talk of Texas doing the same has always worried me a little bit.  Why?  Guns my friends and if you go to Texas, they got lots of them.  But the talk of liberal California who is the full-retard epitome of gun control attempting to take on the rest of America is just laughable. It’s cute even.  California has done its best to strip its citizenry of their 2nd Amendment rights and then they want to pick a fight.  Please fools, the California landscape is host to a national military infrastructure from San Diego all the way to San Francisco and beyond.  The US military could squash a California rebellion by noon and be eating in the chow hall by dinner.

Ladies and gentlemen, the entire 1st Marine Division is in California and I’m thinking it would only take about a 10 man working party to disarm a bunch of hipster separatist from their potato guns because real guns scare them and they couldn’t consciously own one.  Moreover the national US military, while certainly having plenty of left leaning persons, has a considerable right slant to their politics.  So you are telling me, a battalion of Marines from Texas, Tennessee, Mississippi and South Carolina are going to sit back and watch California secede.  Lol, oh the cuteness level is off the charts.  I’m talking Puss n Boots madness!

And then, there are the California conservatives of whom there are many although outnumbered, who still have their guns.  They are not going anywhere with you unless an earthquake literally drags California into the sea. They still got their guns and they don’t care about your silly laws.  Mattresses across California are homes to some of the scariest “assault weapons” you have ever seen folks.  If anyone signing this position is following California’s gun laws then the Republic of California doesn’t stand a chance.   Lol, California secede from the Union?  You and what Army?  It’s just darling.  Please, if anyone reading this blog supports California secession please tell me how this happens.

In Conclusion

Look folks, be it Texas or California, we are stronger as a Union.  The world is a nasty place and I’m happy to have fought beside people from all areas of this country and all political leanings.  One of my best friends and Marine buddies is a liberal knuckle dragging Commie and I love the guy.  Yes, he reads this blog and yes, I’m talking to you bro. We are stronger together regardless of our politics.  Sometimes you lose and sometimes you win, but America lives on.  Any talk of letting California leave because they are wacky is just foolishness.  They are going to stay and we are going to make it so.  Marines training in the hills of California.

I am personally not a fan of Trump and that’s been made clear, but I no more call for California’s secession in the wake of Trump than I did for Texas’ secession in the wake of Obama.  We are brothers just like my Marine commie buddie.  We may argue, but we never leave each other.  Again, the world is a nasty place and men like Putin would love nothing more than to see us fragment.  In 4 years, you can give your referendum on Trump.  But secede from the Union over it, LOL, California stop, your making my stomach hurt, LOL.  I’ll leave you with this quote that one of my readers sent me and I think is timely relevant.

What we face is not a liberal or a conservative condition.  Personally, I refuse to be defined by my politics because it is not a part of who I am but more a mere rational for how I see the world in the brief period of my present existence.  I am more than what I think about 21st century US politics.  I’d like to now leave you with the quote.  I had never heard of this author before, so if it turns out they eat babies and fry kittens for a living don’t hold it against me.  I like the quote itself just plain and simple.

“William: “I’m sure we can all pull together, sir.”
Vetinari: “Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.”
― Terry Pratchett, “The Truth”

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7 Replies to “California Leave the Union? LOL, You and What Army?”

  1. Hi Jeff, Sir Terry Pratchett was a British author. He was mainly known for his series of 37 books about ” The Discworld “. The Discworld is, as it says, a world that’s disc shaped and flat, apart from mountains which aren’t. ” It glides through a universe in an astral plane that was never meant to fly “. It’s carried on the backs of four giant Elephants, which in turn are carried on the back of Great A’Tuin a turtle that swims through space and time using its great flippers as propulsion.
    Rather than me trying to explain more fully, here’s a couple of links to Amazon.com & Amazon.co.uk with better explanations than I can give. Some of the reviews give a much clearer idea than I could. The books are fantasy humour at its best. I think you’d like them.



    1. I’m going to have to check this author out. Sorry for the late reply, this spam filter tends to pick and chose which comments to allow. I think it might have something to do with the links. But people seem to be speaking highly of this author, so I’m game.

  2. Hi again Jeff, trust me and all the other folks that’re bigging Terry Pratchett up, he’s well worth checking out. With your style of writing, and off the wall sense of humour I honestly think you’ll love his writing.

  3. In 1861 four infantry regiments were recruited in Pennsylvania by Californian Senator Edward D. Baker. Though made up of Pennsylvanians they were attributed to California. After the Battle of Ball’s Bluff in October 1861 the brigade was renamed Philadelphia Brigade and the regiments were attributed to Pennsylvania as well.

    1st California Infantry Regiment – 71st Pennsylvania Infantry Regiment
    2nd California Infantry Regiment – 69th Pennsylvania Infantry Regiment
    3rd California Infantry Regiment – 72nd Pennsylvania Infantry Regiment
    5th California Infantry Regiment – 106th Pennsylvania Infantry Regiment

  4. Jeff I have read your blog numerous times and commented a couple also but I am disappointed with the first part of this article. Yes California is a bit extreme and I am against the laws regarding firearms but I think you are in a your hurry to make fun of and usual “California, land of fruit and nuts” jokes you miss the larger point. This is a state for all its faults that feels the need to want talk abut leaving the union and of course they will not and of course they could not defend themselves militarily but they feel the need to make the statement. I know you are not a fan of president little hands either but look at how concerned people are about him in that they would talk about this openly. If you have not please take the time to READ the transcript from his ABC interview and tell me you are not frightened! I like you am ex-military, college educated, married with a daughter (not sure about the kid thing with you but u get the point) and I see the danger he poses to our republic as I have to believe you do also. I would have gladly voted republican if there was a sane candidate but I had to vote for Hillary, I had no choice. Please look up frontal lobe dementia and tell me this is not him. It is not sour grapes as I was hoping, no praying, for him to dial it back and it just keeps getting worse. The only bright spot was General Mattis but I am afraid he will not be able to deal with the crazy and leave the post or he will be marginalized by trumps yes men as trump does not need experts at the briefings he gets. Read a wide variety of blogs and see how polarized the commenters are and how those who try to present facts (real ones) how they are disregarded by a groups of modern day brown shirts. I have grade school aged daughter and I am more than afraid for her given his complete disrespect for women and how quickly people seem to fall in line behind him and echo his hate filled speech.

    I hope and I think you will understand what I am saying but if not then I tried. I can find NO value in that man and believe he has none of the values or forefathers had and how most people try to raise their children. He does everything we tell our kids not to do or be like.

    Write articles on how we can resist and push back against a man who does not care about us and how incomprehensible it is that people think he is for the little man. Please write about that!

  5. MICHMIKE, people like you are exactly why I assume Jeff wrote this article! You are watching way to much CNN to align with the reality of what world you actually live in! I gave up long ago on debating snowflakes…I just keep voting to hopefully limit the chances of out of touch idiots like yourself from degrading this country any longer!

  6. Lol – josh that is a fine bit of comedy but please explain to me why I am a snowflake. I honestly want to know as that term keeps getting thrown around but how do u use it and more importantly, why? I am trying engage Jeff in a discussion about this and pointing out what I do not agree with in his article and I think that might be what he is hoping for. I am am curious why you assume I watch CNN and that I am I out of touch as I that means little without a bit more info. I read numerous sources and yes I even take a look at Breitbart and then I research the facts and yes facts matter to me unlike the current regime in the whitehouse. You assume you know all about me because of what I wrote and I suspect you have little interest in knowing more than your narrow set of misconceptions. Is it fair for me to assume I know about you based upon your somewhat inarticulate, whiskey tango, response and your seeming belief that because I do not feel the current man in the whitehouse is in any way qualified that it makes me wrong. It is my civic duty to protest and fight against policies I feel are wrong because that is what citizens of a democracy do and not just blindly go along even when they do not agree. Research fascism and see what part the citizens played in it.

    Please tell me why you feel I am degrading the country and please tell me where I am wrong.

    I am even willing to give my private email but I really want to know what you think and to have a discussion and not just have you make assumptions about me. Lol. I am many things but a snowflake and outta touch are not two and this many frightening for you but we are probably more alike that you would like to admit.

    Respond and tell me what you think. I am an outta touch snowflake so how hard will it be to show me the flaws in my logic? Come on and man up and explain what you mean!

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