You maniacs! You blew it up! Nah, I’m just kidding, Hopefully. Often in politics, the pendulum will swing hard from left to right. After 8 years of Clinton, we swung right to Bush. After 8 years of Bush, we swung left to Obama. Then, after 8 years of Obama the tweety bird came out and the clock screamed cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo! That’s not an insult to Trump, but more a testament to the bizarre nature of this election. As many of you know, I have never been a fan of Trump. While I recognized his Presidency had a high ceiling, I also recognized it had a remarkably low floor. Like the devil tapping on the ceiling with a broom to get Trump to get stomping around type low. So perhaps you can consider this my unprecedently mediocre concession speech as an avid Feeler of the Johnson and #NeverTrump enthusiast. But more importantly, I hope this is not the last time I have to look silly in front of you all. For I pray with all my heart that I am as wrong about President Donald Trump as I was about candidate Donald Trump.
Our President is Donald Trump
Now, before any of you get to uppity about my failed prediction I must remind you that you are reading a blog titled Unprecedented Mediocrity. So I get to be wrong about lots of stuff with little consequence, just deal with it. But the media and political experts missed this by a remarkably historic margin. And looking back, I should have caught it myself as I come from a rural southern county. My friends and family were supporting Trump in numbers that bewildered me, but I thought it an anomaly. Ladies and gentlemen, Donald Trump is our next President and that is incontrovertible fact. This guy.
Granted, the reaction among Trump supporters has been remarkably split on social media this morning. The 50% who were avid supporters from the beginning are reveling in the draining of the swamp. Meanwhile, the 50% who joined merely in opposition of Clinton are waking up with a hangover, rolling over, and seeing their arm trapped beneath the 350 pound slump buster snoring away. Unsure what happened or the future consequences, they are just praying they didn’t get married in Vegas last night.
The truth for all of us is that we truly have no idea what to expect from Donald Trump. Will he be the campaign version of himself or will the dignity of the office he will hold pull him towards a higher calling. Will he hold to some of the conservative principles that got him elected or will he return to the Democrat Donald from a few years ago? What will he do with guns after the first mass shooting of his presidency? Will he stand up to Putin or will he acquiesce part of our NATO alliance. You could have supported the man out the wazoo, but let us not pretend that we know what we are getting.
A Message to You Deplorables
I love you deplorables and if any word highlights why Hillary lost it is this one. For as often as I maligned Trump, I never maligned his supporters. I know too many of you, went to a Trump rally to talk to some of you, and you’re good folk. But now your real work begins as I have two important questions for you. First, will you hold Trump accountable for the office he holds? No longer can you overlook gross negligence and falsehoods because, “well, it’s better than Killery.” This man is our President and as much as he maligned the media, it is their responsibility to hold him accountable via the free press. You can allow candidate Trump to win by dismissing any negative press as media lies, but you cannot please hear me you cannot allow President Trump to do the same. The man said some pretty tyrannical things during this election my friends and I have to ask you. Will you deplorables hold this man accountable with me?
Second, will you allow the man to bring the country together through a bi-partisan coalition? The man is going to have to work with Democrats and the more he does so early on the “greater” our country will be. If you make him go all Tea Party it will only fracture the divide. Hillary Clinton gave a gracious concession speech, so will please allow Trump to be gracious in victory. If you can do the two above, then I think you raise the bar for just how great this President COULD be but it is entirely in your hands. Do not give the man a free pass at the sort of tyrannical things he said in the campaign and let the man govern with the minority. He was a Democrat like 2 years ago, so it shouldn’t be that hard should it?
When it’s all said and done, thank you sweet baby Jesus in the manger that this election is over. Now we can get back to the absurd and Bea Arthur’s panties. I concede that I was wrong about candidate Trump and can only pray I’m as wrong about President Trump. Although on the plus side I hear Miley Cyrus has to leave the country now, so we got that going for us. The future we will live together is truly unprecedented, but I’ll spend the next 4 years holding President Trump to the fire. Will you deplorables please join me in the coming season of safeguarding our liberty? Donald J. Trump who likes to grab women by the kit kat is our President folks and that is just incontrovertible fact. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but this is the end of it and here it is.
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