I can do this right, now that I run a blog and all. I can write an open letter to anyone in the world. Its not that I would expect ISIS to disregard it if it were not addressed to them. Nor, do I expect that since I addressed it to them, they will somehow get it routed to their email address. However, it seems as if I am allowed to state that this is an open letter to ISIS and everyone gets that this letter is addressed to ISIS. I doubt that I have any ISIS readers of the blog, but those random views from Yemen and Saudi Arabia that I have been getting as evidenced by my site stats, maybe someone knows a cousin or something and can hook me up and forward this on.
So here’s the thing ISIS. You are not really good at this Caliphate thing. Now don’t get me wrong, I acknowledge you have made some successful blitzes in Iraq, but take it from America, we have been there, blitzed Iraq twice, not that big of a deal, don’t brag too much about it. But none the less, here you are. You got some cash, some weapons, some Humvees, good luck with those by the way, and you established a Caliphate. A Muslim super state I guess, with some guy America roughed up in Iraq as the head. Ok, here you are. So what do you do now. Do you solidify your gains, establish some local governance and spend time recruiting and training a capable fighting force. No, you don’t do that. Instead, you piss off the one country who can actually fly over and bomb with as much ease as we expend playing Xbox. Poor choice.
You start your Caliphate reign by crucifying Christians and killing kids. Hey ISIS, you know we like kids here in America right. Lots of us have them, have grown to love them and all that. Also, there is a Church on every corner in America. I mean, you could have played up the sectarian violence role and kept America unsure, but no, instead you went to clearly identifying yourselves as horrible human beings. How bad are you? We will drop thousands of dollars of bombs on you, just to kill 2 or 3 of you each time. Seriously, we are about several trillion dollars in debt as a nation. But your Caliphate national strategy was to piss us off enough that although we need every dollar, and we are seriously tired of Iraq, see my last article on ISIS, we think it is still worth it to come bomb you.
Maybe your strategy was to bank on the fact that America is weak and scared. Maybe we are so politically divided, it will only be the conservative war hawks screaming for blood. But then your next piece of trash move is to go and behead a journalist and send us a video. Not only are you horrible human beings, but you are horrible political strategist. You see, conservatives don’t really like the media for some reason. Which means, Liberals love the media. So now that you have executed in brutal fashion a freelance journalist, you have peace loving liberals screaming for your death. Well that about sums it up. In about a month, you have rallied the most powerful nation in the world to come and destroy you. Well done ISIS, well done.
You see, now that your fate is sealed, your existence will be about as significant as that SIM City I build in 1993 on Super Nintendo. Except instead of a tornado or a poorly mapped out traffic plan, its going to be the good ole Red, White, and Blue bombing you from above while Kurdish and Iraqi forces do all the work on the ground. Just the way we like it. But lest you think we are too scared to come do it ourselves, let me point you to 2003 thru 2013. That’s the decade I like to call, the Decade we spent in your streets killing you on your home turf.
In this picture you see frequently on Unprecedented Mediocrity, with 2nd Platoon in front of the cross swords, well, what you don’t realize is that behind those cross swords used to be about a 4 or 5 story Baath Party headquarters building that our air power turned into the pile of rubble you can hardly see behind us. So we, even me personally have been there, and gotten the T-shirt. I literally have a T-shirt from it.
America is not scared and your cowardly acts only propel us to more violence. I get how being raised Iraqi, you probably assume grown men are cowards since most of you in that area of the world seem to be. However, spend a little time in America and you will realize the folly of your strategy. For we have all seen the Godfather and just like in part III, when the Godfather said, “Just when I think I am out, they pulled me back in.” Well, congrats ISIS, you formed your Caliphate and pulled us back in within a 30 day period. At this point, America will consider it a total shame if we do nothing less than bomb you back to the stone age. So on behalf of Unprecedented Mediocrity, my readers, and America, let me say, You are not coming for us, we have already come for you. We are the hunters, not the hunted.
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