ISIS in America

Am I the only one that thinks ISIS claiming responsibility for the attempted terrorist attack in Texas is like them taking responsibility for the Seahawks Super Bowl losing interception?  If ISIS is going to be about the business of claiming epic fails, then I’d like for them to go ahead and own up for that time I peed my pants in elementary school.  Freaking ISIS.  Yes, ISIS apparently took credit for sending two wannabe jihadies to their death in Texas.  The picture above was made by America Heroes through Graphite.  Check them out for some amazing art!  Look ISIS, I am not going to call out another State and set them up for failure, but let’s just say attempting to attack Texas first is like entering the cheat code that sends you straight to Mike Tyson in Nintendo’s Mike Tyson punch out.  Perhaps you should have started out with Glass Joe fellas!  My fellow 80’s kids will get that reference.  It is impossible, not improbable, impossible for ISIS to prevail in America.  I know they have much of America on edge, so let me calm your nerves by assuring you, they cannot win.

The Military

First of all, ISIS is fairing quite poorly on their home turf.  I understand that much of the world has witnessed their barbaric exploits on TV.  However, do not be fooled by every beheading.  They are not winning.  They could not take the Kurds.  Iraq proper is actually pushing back.  It appears their leader is somewhere in a vegetative coma.  They are not winning.

ISIS in America

This is their home turf. Ladies and gentlemen, if a peewee football team can’t win on it’s home field, then what chance does it stand when it steps in against the Seahawks and the 12th man in Seattle?  Moreover, the United States Military is not even fully engaged.  That is correct.  ISIS is losing against forces America could crush in a business week if we so chose.  They are not winning.

Law Enforcement

But let’s say, as is the case in Texas, ISIS slips across or convinces a few crazies in America to act.  After all, you shake the crazy cage long enough, a few nuts are bound to fall out.  In 2008, there were over 120,000 Federal law enforcement officials in America.  Then, there are about 765,000 State and local sworn law enforcement officials.  Guess, what ISIS?  They all carry guns!

ISIS in America

Such was the case in Texas when a single law enforcement official with epic aim, took out the two would be terrorist.  Perhaps ISIS strikes where law enforcement is not present next time.  Well, guess who is coming shortly thereafter?  Hint, it’s not an unarmed patrolman on a bicycle.  Rather, it will be one of the million plus armed law enforcement officials ready to end your jihad.  ISIS can’t win!


That’s right fellas.  It’s time for some 2nd Amendment love.  By some estimates, 11.1 million Americans have a permit for a concealed carry weapon.  Consequently, if one of the million law enforcement officials can’t be on hand.  Chances are, a good guy with a gun just might be right next to you.  Then you have to consider the people carrying guns without a permit.  Thug life, you know!

ISIS in America

Then, on top of that, you have the number of firearms in civilian possession to actually number over 300,000 million.  Bottom line, American civilians could kill every ISIS terrorist in the world and never have to use the same gun twice.  ISIS can’t win and I didn’t even get into the huge Veteran population that has not forgotten how to professionally wield these weapons.

They Will Try

Sadly, despite the overwhelming odds that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt they can’t win, ISIS will try.  What this means is that they may very well succeed in taking a life, but they will not win.  They will not prevail.  Death is tragic and death at the hands of ISIS all the more so. But let’s take a look at the stats.

Cows kill 20 people in America every year.  That’s right, cows.  12 people were killed in the Charlie Hedboe attacks in Paris this year, 8 less than will die by Cow this year in America.  Bees will kill 100 people this year. And yes, even dogs.  Dogs will kill 20 people in America this year.

ISIS in America

We are going to die here in America.  If our wealth can’t protect us all from Cows then yes, ISIS may cause a death.  But they can’t win.  The Flu and Pneumonia will kill over 50,000 people this year.  ISIS would have to take the most successful terrorist attack in America and multiply that over 10 times just to reach the number of people that will die from the Flu.  ISIS can’t win!


So my point is mainly this.  ISIS has nothing but fear in the tool belt.  They have bet the farm they can scare America into submission, but they apparently have met very few Americans.  We will not go quietly into the night and despite your worst attempts, America will move on.  Every ISIS member they send to attack us is sent to their inevitable death.  ISIS can’t win.  Do not submit yourselves to their fear and walk the streets with confidence.  If anything, look out for those freaking cows.  Because they are plotting stuff, I just know it.

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2 Replies to “ISIS Can’t Win in America: The Numbers Prove It!”

  1. Way to go Jeff, in my mind your comments are spot on. Keep up the good work.

    Semper Fi

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