I mean it’s their Korea to be entirely honest.  No matter how you roll the dice, the early estimates of a war on the Korean peninsula would number in the hundreds of thousands at least.  North Korea has trained a massive artillery arsenal on Seoul and from across the border they can wreak catastrophic damage on a city of over ten million people.  I’m sorry South Korea but I don’t know how to avoid this should the bullets start to fly.  I truly am sorry.  I can only pray that St. Mattis has a plan to end this quickly and the worst estimates never come to pass.  But your fat cousin up North who is about a half chromosome short of being “special” is bringing that war to you not America.  I don’t want anyone on the South Korean peninsula to die but I’m unsure what that has to do with the citizens of Seattle, San Francisco, or Portland.  For over 60 years the United States of America shielded you from eminent takeover.  We fought with you from the Pusan Perimeter to the Chosin Reservoir and back.  More American blood has been spilt on your soil than Korean blood has been spilt on ours.  Your a great ally South Korea, but as much as I hate to quote the man this could very well be a case of putting America first.  This is your Korea my friends and you might just have to fight for it one more time.  The threat is unacceptable to America and only draws more grim and accurate with each passing day.

Let’s Give Peace a Chance

Lest anyone think I am war mongering here I am fully in support of giving peace a chance here.  As cool as a Korean War part Deux would be to watch on TV I have to fully admit that this washed up has been Marine will be doing just that.  Watching it on TV.  If there is a route to sustainable peace then let us take it.  However, in doing so America has to admit that it has been kicking the can down the read for 60 years.  I do not like Trump, but this is not his fault.  The current situation in North Korea is the result of decades of failed policy going back to black and white television.  

Moreover, Trump is actually right to threaten violence as a response.  Perhaps “fire and fury” is the new “shock and awe” but any diplomacy only works if they enemy thinks you will actually pull the trigger.  Mattis himself said that sometimes the best diplomacy is a Man O’ War off shore.  It’s why America is even talking about a dialogue with North Korea because we think the Pillsbury Un Boy might actually do it.  Well, we got our own unhinged leader and he might actually bring “fire and fury” too.  Suck it North Korea you don’t have a patent on unusually strange syntax threats.

The New Normal

Perhaps you could argue we should just contain North Korea like any other nuclear power, but it is important for us to admit this is not normal.  Nothing about North Korea or its leadership is normal.  Maybe you say the Norks don’t have the targeting technology to strike with accuracy so why worry?  Well, I live in Washington State on the eastern side and I’d preference them not over shooting Seattle by a few hundred miles.  Like horseshoes and hand grenades Nuclear weapons is one of those things where close enough does matter.  Just ask these guys below who volunteered for the worst working party ever. 

Then there is Iran.  Whereas Kim Jong Un is smearing feces on the wall crazy, Iranian leadership might actually believe they are fulfilling the will of their God to strike Israel or America.  These two nations are not normal my friends.  New rule, if you can’t watch the 1980’s movie War Games and come to the conclusion that the only winning strategy is not to play then you can’t have nukes.  No nukes for you and if you get them you open yourself up to a response from those you threaten.

Russia knows not to play the game, China knows not to play the game, France knows not to play the game, America knows not to play the game and the only thing that could ruin this game is to have one crazy window licking mother who doesn’t know not to play the game.  The threat is unacceptable to the United States of America and I don’t know how to not make South Korea pay a dear price.    But South Korea you might just have to be ok with it.  Perhaps the failed strategy to take away is not preeminently cutting off a nuclear attack on America but isolating foreign nations for decades to the point they act like inbred Klingons.  

In Conclusion

I’m going to entirely honest with you right now.  I am ok with your citizens fighting and dying for Korea more than I’m ok with a Nuclear strike in Seattle.  I’m so happy to pick neither if that were possible, but if forced to pick the red pill or the blue pill I pick catastrophic war on the Korean peninsula over a nuclear strike in America.  And as a conservativish Eastern Washingtonian you don’t know how hard that is for me to say about tree hugging Western Washington.  It’s close, but I pick them.  Basically what I am saying is that I don’t know how to take the war off the Korean peninsula and put it somewhere else but I will not allow it on the shores of America.  Sucks for you South Korea, we had our own Civil War and they end a lot better when someone wins.

It’s not callous but the reality facing the leaders of the United States, South Korea, and Japan today.  Japan, I’m really sorry but to go down as the one country to take three nukes on the chin is remarkably tragic.  First two were kind of your fault if I’m being entirely honest, but three is just a bit much.  I joke because there is nothing good about this situation and humor has its dark place in the military community.

I’m still hoping that the serious policy makers of the world will work out a magic peaceful deal and this blog will not deter them.  Mainly because if the serious policy makers of the world are getting their input from Unprecedented Mediocrity we are already screwed.  Perhaps we can quick strike Jabba the Un in Pyongyang, perhaps we have all sorts of cool military tech that does stuff we don’t even know about yet, or perhaps we are about to witness a nuclear attack somewhere in the world and it will be horrifying because one retarded fat kid has never seen any 1980’s Cold War movies.  The only winning move is not to play, but that doesn’t mean someone isn’t about to yell “game on.”    

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