Christian White Male Terrorism

You can’t have it both ways white people when it comes to Christian white male terrorism.  I’m just going to get that out of the way first.  If you want to reserve the right to immediately assume a man with a middle eastern name is an Islamic terrorist for committing mass violence, then you can’t act appalled when a white dude shoots up an abortion clinic and the world assumes he is a Christian terrorist.  As a fellow bearded gun owning Christian white male myself, it was exactly the first thing I thought when I heard the story and you did too.  Be honest with yourselves, because Tommy Lee Jones from No Country for Old Men doesn’t have time for ignoring the obvious.  Like it or not, the entire conversation about the Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado is taking place under the subtle context of what Americans are to think about radical Islamic terrorism.  Many on one side acted with near glee at this shooting as it proved their narrative while others jumped on the media for instantly referencing this man as a Christian. And in a remarkable act of political acrobatics, the two sides completely used the other sides logic to prove their point.  And in the words of the immortal Doc Holiday, my hypocrisy only goes so far.

Can’t We All Just Facepalm Together?

Every time I see Westbro Baptist Church holding up a sign saying God hates gay people or a Christian shoots up an abortion clinic, I facepalm and shake my head.  So to Muslim Americans, I get it that those of you in the majority here in this country that repudiate such acts probably want to facepalm and kick someone’s butt when another terrorist attack is committed in the name of Islam.  When an illegal immigrant murdered and raped a lady in San Fransisco this year, I am quite certain that a whole lot of illegal immigrants who are just here working and providing for their family facepalmed.  When an NFL player gets arrested anywhere in America I am confident Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys facepalm.  But in all serious, it probably was a Dallas Cowboy.

Let’s face it America, every race, religion, creed, and political affiliation has a shallow end of their respective gene pools but we are not stupid or blind enough to not recognize from which pool they waded out and committed a dastardly deed.  No one likes to claim them, but even the loneliest of wolves have a pack somewhere.  But as I said in my article, the Plight of the Perpetually Offended, everyone is worse off when we feel too ashamed to talk about it.  We don’t get to analyze and understand what waves we ourselves might be making in this large pool that incited one to action.  Because if you shake the crazy cages long enough with inflammatory rhetoric, one will inevitably fall out.

Christian White Male Terrorism

People might try to be polite in the public forum, but they go home and whisper to themselves what everyone is obviously thinking.  So why not be big boys and girls and just talk about it.  I am a bearded white Christian male and this other guy might be too.  What questions do you have for me America because I won’t shame you for making any connection you so obviously think.  But I bet once you get to know me by actually talking about it, you will go home saying that scraggly bearded Jeff man is a fine fellow and society will have advanced one step forward.

White People Suck at Branding Their Terrorism

The key for me in this case was the target of Planned Parenthood.  That is what led me to assume this man had some misguided view of the Christian call to emulate Jesus.  I mean, there was that one time Jesus put together a whip and trashed a bunch of merchant stands who were profiting in God’s house.  But apart from that, if you emulate the life of Jesus in a radical manner you don’t get mass shootings.  Read the Gospels and tell me if you come to a different conclusion.

But every mass shooting committed by a white male Christian isn’t done explicitly in the name of their faith.  Or if it is, they are just horrible at branding it.  When a white male racist commits an atrocity against minorities, it is rare that they explicitly claim they did it because their faith compelled them to and that they will be rewarded in heaven for such actions.  And moreover, they typically are not yelling “Jesus is Awesome” the entire time as they gun down women and children.  They have their sick twisted motives for doing what they are doing, but they are hardly as explicit in labeling it as such in the manner we have become accustomed to with radical Islam.

Christian White Male Terrorism

Usually, when a white person commits an atrocity it is because they ran out of kitty cats to strangle and their dead mother whom they have kept mummified under their bed told them to do it.  White people don’t do everything right, but we do have some people perfecting the art of insanity.  But yes, usually when they shoot up an abortion clinic religion is a motivation.

Mad Men

It might be because Islamic Terrorists all have MBAs in marketing, but we usually don’t have to assume anything when it comes to Islamic terrorism.  That is unfortunately very unfair to the millions of Muslims in America who mean no harm, but dang it, these ISIS people are the Mad Men marketing geniuses of the Middle East.  They pretty much tell us why they are doing it and they are explicit in that they are doing it because of their faith.

And if there was any doubt in our minds, they remind us by yelling “Allah Akbar” the entire time.  Oh, and the Muslim practice where every convert changes their name to something very Muslim-sounding doesn’t help either when one goes astray.  Just being honest and if you could only get Terrorist to change their name back to Bob, Tom, or Harry before acting in violence that would go a long way.

Christian White Male Terrorism

I am confident we would all be better off if mass atrocities were only committed by people wearing the non-offensive Greendale Community College Human Being Mascot.  But that is not the case.  So to my fellow Christians who are fuming about the media quickly labeling this abortion shooter a Christian, I feel we must take a little dose of our own medicine.  I don’t know if he is a Christian or not, but I refuse to act offended at the suggestion that I myself thought.  And then when the member of your race, religion, or creed turns out to just have a bunch of dead kittens in the freezer, you can all breathe a sigh of relief because you got lucky.  Can’t we all just facepalm together and have grown up conversations?

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4 Replies to “So Here’s the Thing About Christian White Male Terrorism”

  1. I’ve never felt like I had to say, “That’s white male terrorism”. I never liked labels as much as I liked individuals, and maybe that’s the problem. As a white, male, Christian, with four deployments under my belt; according to liberal pundits, I have all the markings of a terrorist. However, every Christian media outlet that was on the radio today condemned the attack and called the man a terrorist. So I still am not sure what message the author is trying to send, or who the author is trying to justify.

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