Kid, I’m happy to hear about your academic confidence and yet your improper use of capitalization and punctuation has me worried for you. Then again, this is Unprecedented Mediocrity and poor grammar is my thing. Lady, yes, I am aware inanimate objects don’t die. This is why we can’t have nice things and this is why can never truly have an honest debate on on making America safer regarding guns. Students are taking to the streets today to protest gun violence in America and I support their right to assemble and speak. Yet, the fact that they are students doesn’t give them a free pass to talk about a subject over which we are both passionate. I have a voice too and this blog is my megaphone. I applaud their activism for being so young much as on the streets of Iraq we might applaud the fighting spirit of a 16-year-old jihadi. Yet, what must be done simply must be done. The signs these students are carrying today are everything that is wrong with the gun debate in America. Were I to tune in to hear them out I would instantly checkout once they hit me with the myriad of strawman arguments they have plastered on their signs. It is also a reason why the adults simply can’t turn over the constitutional debate on guns to the little whippersnappers just yet. They might be the future, but you need to come at me with something other than the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz as argument before you get the keys.

We’re Off to See the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Quick tutorial for those unfamiliar, but a strawman argument is where the opponent in debate magically creates a position not your own and then gives that to you to defend even though that was never your position. For instance, I say that I support the 2nd Amendment. The opponent then says something along the lines of, “My uncle was a veteran who committed suicide with a gun. Why do you support veteran suicide?” Voila, you have your strawman. It is the lowest form of debate and is void of any intellectual honesty. These students do have an opportunity to advance the debate in America, but not so long as they hit gun owners with strawman arguments like this.

Kid, who in the hell thinks you should be writing your will over your college essay. Is that even a question of debate in America or is it an absurd choice you just made up and gave to gun owners. Now don’t get me wrong, you should never underestimate the proper pre-planning for one’s own inevitable demise and a will is a great first step. But I surveyed every gun owner in America and we recommend unanimously that you tackle that college essay first. As for the kid who wants to read book over Eulogies, as long as you are reading kid. Practice makes perfect. But we are not done yet.

Why is this even a question? It’s a question kid because you wrote it down on the sign in an interrogative manner. Prior to you scribbling it down on that sign, with some very fine stenciling by the way I mean those lines are darn near perfect, but before you wrote it down it was not a question America was facing. I have three children and at no point was I disappointed my wife didn’t pop out an AR-15 at birth instead of a kid. Although, mother of the year if she could do both. Guns and kids are not mutually exclusive items. What if I told you we live in a world where with proper training and education guns and kids can coexist? This is a question because you asked it wearing your finest Scarecrow hat.

Lady you a grown woman and you ought to be ashamed of yourself. How do you not know the proper use of the greater than and less than mathematical symbol. You clearly wrote “Thoughts and Prayers are greater than New Policy.” Then you marked it out with an X maybe upon learning of your mistake because I don’t get it otherwise. I’d also like every gun owner who has personally armed a mass-murderer to respond in the comments and explain why you are arming mass murderers. I’ll wait.


Finally an honest protest sign. This kid wants to abolish the NRA. I disagree, but if that is the position of this kid then fine. At least it is honest and straight to the point without any false equivalencies. But then again, there is this.

Listen up kid, you will take your PTSD and you will like it. Now quit studying as I don’t want to see you with any of those A’s like some nerd. This is ridiculous people. I could go on and on, but just google and have a little fun yourself. I’ve written a lot about 2nd Amendment issues and the need to build trust between gun owners who view the 2nd as important as the 1st and those who talk “control.” I’m all for the “shall not be infringed” but let’s face it, bump stocks were the short bus of gun accessories. But if this is the level of debate on guns in America then every student might as well offered up a “thought and prayer.” I can’t engage when you associate my constitutional right with a hatred for kids, good grades and college essays. These kids have parents and teachers and at least some adult in the room ought to have known what a strawman was and its impact on this debate. Personally I think the gun control advocates I respect most are the ones who call for an abolition of the 2nd amendment in its entirety. Again, I disagree but at least that is an honest position. I have not written in a couple of weeks as I was honestly tired of writing about guns and nothing else has dominated the news cycle. I’m a gun owner and passionate supporter of the 2nd amendment ready to have a conversation with anyone about gun control. I simply request you leave strawman at home. I’m done writing about guns again for the moment, but as the famous line goes…

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7 Replies to “Strawmans of the World Unite to Protest Guns or Something”

  1. The cathartic release of a middle aged man who doesn’t understand the social change that is sweeping “muh gun rights”.

    1. Societal change is not changing the constitution. The Constitution, its a like a real thing.

  2. News footage of the Chinese cultural revolution taught me to beware hysteria.
    I distrust this cascading irrationality, its peddlers, and the predators awaiting a disarmed populace.
    What does your weird kid have to do with my legally purchased, frequently shot, trained with, and properly stored rifle? A rational answer please.

  3. This is an article that needed to be posted. The weird reverse-ageism aside, I think the point that everyone needs to take from this is that the gun debate (or any debate on the national level, for that matter) will never reach a productive stage until both sides learn to stop talking past each other.

    Until we get over that hurdle, we’re going to keep having shootings in schools and the same ad hominem and strawman attacks on Facebook for weeks after. The anti-gun side needs to understand that the majority of gun owners are safe, law-abiding citizens who would never in a hundred years want to harm another human being except for in self-defense. The pro-gun side needs to understand that the anti-gun side doesn’t want to curtail 2nd Amendment rights, but simply implement measures to prevent individuals with a history of violence or likelihood to commit violence in the future (mental illness, overwhelming debt) from obtaining guns.

    My take on the issue is that there is not yet enough emphasis on meaningful training for safety and proficiency for the average gun buyer. I’ll put it like this – you can have a legit M16A4 when you have to spend 2 weeks humping 3 miles to a range, spend hours qualifying, hike 3 miles back, spend 2 hours at an armory cleaning the weapon to pristine condition Monday through Friday. Just like I had to.

  4. Chuck I would agree with you if you had a 4 year degree with a major in English and a minor in Logic. But until then, you do not get to have the right to free speech.

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