ISIS

Anyone a fan of the movie Tombstone?  I am.  Great movie.  Sure Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp is the hero, but truthfully we all love Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday.  This movie is stocked full of quotes.  There is Doc’s epic, “Say When”  Then you have Wyatt’s line, “Go ahead and skin that smoke wagon and see what happens.”  And let’s not forget about Curly Bill Brocious’, “Well… Bye”.  However, the line that I reference in the picture above is Wyatt Earp’s line, “You tell em I’m coming…. and Hell’s coming with me, you hear.”  And thus, let’s proceed to our coalition against ISIS.

France

Did you catch that, France.  I mean France has joined us in the bombing of ISIS.  Truthfully this has my head spinning.  We are talking about a country that is synonymous with surrender and military weakness. Now I admit that is probably an unfair comparison. None of us really know what it’s like to live next to an uber aggressive Germany in the 20th century. But reputation is less about fact and more about rumor.  So in that regard, France is coming with us.  Crazy.

Now again, truthfully, France has been on a  little aggressive tilt lately.  Maybe they are like the kid who gets called weak for so long, they just snap and start fighting everyone in their sight.  However, France has gotten a little aggressive lately and I have to say I like it.  They did some work on their own blowing up terrorist in Africa this past year.  And now, they have jumped in to the war against ISIS.  I mean, it really is a war isn’t it.  But we will get to that point in a little bit.

Girls

That’s right, we got girls in our coalition as well.  Namely, a female fighter pilot from the United Arab Emirates.  I love this.  Perhaps more than having France even.  Now, I saw some reports on the internet that ISIS doesn’t want to die at the hands of woman because that means they won’t go to Muslim heaven. Truthfully, I don’t know if that is true, but we will stick with it because I like it.  But the UAE has a female fighter pilot dropping bombs on ISIS.

Now, assuming that it’s true about the woman killing them, I wonder how that plays out in Muslim heaven.  Does the ISIS wife beater trash think he is going to get to his paradise destination, look at his 72 virgins, and then be denied because Allah is all like, man, sorry, that was a chick that bombed you, no virgins for you. To be clear I don’t believe in Muslim heaven, but I can imagine for this scenario can’t I.  I mean if true, shouldn’t bombs dropped by women be pink or something to give them a fair chance at running extra fast.  And if it’ts really true, I say we just float a pink zeplin over the middle east full of My little Pony and Hello Kitty themed bombs.  That should quiet them down quite nicely.

War

War.  Is it too much to ask for me to get an actual war.  I know, I did indeed personally fight in a war in Iraq and we have been at war for about 13 years now. However, it just seems a little less official without a declaration from Congress.  I know we have cool names for them and all, Operation Desert Storm, Operation Enduring Freedom, Operation Iraqi Freedom.  But once, just once,  I want a full fledged constitutional war.

Am I asking too much? We have done a whole lot of killing since WWII, but that was our last official war. Personally, I think a War vote in the age of 24/7 news media and the internet would be epic.  Could you imagine all the speeches we could see, the posturing, the punditry, and the internet memes?  I’m telling you, we are missing out.  I just want a good old fashioned, my nation is trying to kill your nation, War.  Congress makes it official, and we declare it over when you have sign a paper saying Uncle.  On a Battleship preferably. That would be cool.  So I am all for this military intervention in against ISIS, I just want an official declaration of War.  Write your Congressman, email the President, or call Captain America.  I just want a war.  Who’s with me?

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3 Replies to “You Tell ISIS We Are Coming, And France Is Coming With US, You Hear”

  1. Hey Jeff, Semper Fi from a former Marine Captain, JAG type. I just saw that movie Tombstone, over the weekend and you have to love the Direct Action that Wyatt Earp takes to deal with evil in his midst, in the form of the Clanton Gang. To raise you one, I quote you another character in a another great movie, “Friend, We deal in Lead” (Steve McQueen’s character when asked by the bandit bad guy if the Seven could make a “deal” with the bad guy). I also think the friendship aspect story line between Wyatt and Doc Holiday gave the movie its heart. I am not sure if I could die for an abstract concept like freedom or liberty, but I could willingly die for a close friend or combat buddy. You will die for your friends, and like Doc says, “I don’t have many of those.” I wish our government would pull the stick out of its rear end, and organize a call for volunteer regiments like what we had in the Civil War. I think you would have a flood of vets, and not just from the Iraq /Afghanistan wars, that would love to go “over there” and wipe out ISIS with a little back up from the active duty folks. Train them up for six months, and set them loose on ISIS so that ISIS can see how real volunteers, well trained in Democracy and imbued with Modernity in the form of Mercy for the Surrendered, Rules of War (yes there are such rules curbing our worst instincts ) and advanced infantry and combined arms tactics, and you will see a dedication and professionalism that will approach active duty folks. But of course we will not do this, because such an idea and an Ideal is too radical for the Cautious types that rule in the Pentagon and the White House. Americans after 9/11 wanted to be asked to sacrifice like our grandparents did during WWII, instead we were told to shut up, pay our taxes, and go shopping.

    1. I agree. the Doc/Wyatt friendship is what makes the story equally compelling. Whereas I might be a little past my prime to volunteer to head over to ISIS, I agree that if a call for volunteers went out, you probably would see a large number of veterans stepping up to go back over.

  2. I don’t know how I mised this one Jeff but it’s great. our history is filled with accounts of volunteers going over to help others fight their wars. from Teddy Roosevelt raising his own regiment to Hemmingway going to France in WW 1, the Flying Tigers, Ben Affleck joined the Eagle Squadron in WW2 (not really but it was cool in Pearl Harbor). Marines were commissioned into the Armed Forces of Haiti and Nicaragua during the Banana Wars. I think The US would have a cow if that happened today though. And I have softened my criticism of France in my old age. After all, we may not be a country today if they hadn’t helped us during our own revolution. Of course we should call it even , after saving their bacon in Wars 1 and 2. And then they went and drug us into their crap in Southeast Asia. Oh hell, I’m back to not liking them again. But they did give us the Statue of Liberty and that’s pretty cool.

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