Young Men of Afghanistan, This Is Your One Chance To Be Free and John Cena Sucks

“Personally, I think, uh… they don’t really want to be involved in this war. You know, I mean… they sort of took away our freedom and gave it to the, to the ‘Vietnamese’, you know. But they don’t want it. They’d rather be alive than free, I guess. Poor dumb bastards.” Private Eightball ~ So goes the quote from the legendary film, Full Metal Jacket. I’ve said it many times before, but I am of the opinion that any people group gets perhaps one chance to be free. That’s one chance that may arise every 5 or 10 generations, but you just get the one. Miss it, and your grandchildren and their grandchildren will suffer the consequences. The United States of America saw its opportunity in the late 1700s and as the musical Alexander Hamilton harmonically told us, they did not miss their shot. Every American today is the beneficiary of their courage and willingness to die. Young men of Afghanistan, you are about to get your shot. Your one shot to be free or be enslaved for the rest of your miserable lives. America is leaving and the freedom of future generations of Afghans will depend on what you do over the next decade. America has done our part there for an entire generation and the rest, is up to you. I just hope you don’t waste your one shot at freedom for something as silly and temporary as staying alive. Please, young men of Afghanistan, don’t miss your shot. We’ll get to how much John Cena sucks in a minute.

Get Young, Scrappy, and Hungry for Liberty

Had our American revolution failed, the outcome would have been bad, but not terrible I suppose. I guess we would have just become a more unruly version of Canada. Not the worst thing ever and I could perhaps live with that if it were not for that travesty of a meat they call bacon up there. Your little ham slices are not bacon. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep beating that drum until the day I die, Canada. However, a failure to seize any generation’s shot at freedom can be more costly. Russians had a chance to be free at the end of the Cold War and now they live under the iron grip of James Bond villain wannabe, Putin. They missed their shot and they are done for the next few generations. Do you want freedom Russians? Drink your Vodka and hit me up in the year 2524, because you blew it.

The Chinese people had a shot in 1989 at Tiananmen Square and despite some inexplicable gallantry by students, they too missed their shot. Now, they live with a social credit system and are increasingly purged of any liberty they imagined they had left. China is literally the new Nazi Germany. Hong Kong had a shot as they fought Mainland rule and tragically, they lost. The result is that the people of China or Hong Kong will never be free. If they wanted to be free, they don’t have the guns to liberate themselves and China’s newfound economic dominance means the Chinese people are done for 5 to 10 generations or more. People of China, you missed your shot and your children and children’s children will never be free. Taiwan, my friends go down swinging and make them earn every inch of your island. Whatever you do, don’t pull a John Cena and wuss out for the sake of cash. John Cena, you suck man and your movie The Marine was the absolute worst. Just awful. If you really love the Chinese people you would stand up to the CCP, not bow to it. You suck, John Cena, you suck.

So young men of Afghanistan, listen up. As America withdraws, you are faced with your one shot at freedom and don’t John Cena your one shot away. Squander it and history will forever record the tragedy that will be your failure to fight. This is your one chance for the next 10 generations to be free. Please don’t make the mistake of prioritizing life over liberty. No one is coming back for your liberty a second time. I hate to be right in this scenario, but if you fail to fight, the world will be done with you. I hate to be right, but if you fail to fight, you don’t deserve it. I hate to be right, but this is your one chance at freedom for the next 5 to 10 generations. Not to mention that if you fail, you are not going to get the Canadian bacon version of failure. You are going to get the John Cena terrible version of life. Let me explain.

The Taliban Are Terrible Human Beings

Apart from China and living life as John Cena, I can’t think of a more terrible outcome awaiting those who preference life over liberty. Young men of Afghanistan, the Taliban are terrible human beings and they will be a cruel master. Famed American revolutionary Patrick Henry once exclaimed, “Give me liberty or give me death” and the dude was simply talking about pay some extra taxes on tea. Can you imagine what he would have said if he were facing extremist religious rule where his daughters would be denied education, raped when men felt like it, and forced into marriages in their preteen years? How many civilian markets, schools, and hospitals do the Taliban have to blow up to convince you that life under their rule is not preferable to death? The left is women in Afghanistan in the 70’s and the right is women under Taliban rule. Men of Afghanistan, your women have nice legs and the choice should be obvious.

Young men of Afghanistan, for the past 20 plus years you have known nothing but life apart from their rule. In fact, every fighting man between the age of 18 and 20 years old have known nothing but freedom in their lifetime. Granted, still a little weird Afghanistan version of freedom. Sort of like the Canadian Bacon version to America’s bacon and freedom, but you know what, I’ll still count it. What the hell do you want to give that up for just to stay alive? We are all going to die and that is the one commonality that binds us all. In the scope of eternity, I’ve personally come to view this entire life as a mere waiting room until the real show gets started. I’ll have no regrets when my number is called as it is a journey I was always going to have to travel anyway. If someone told me that my death would prevent my wife, daughters, and grandchildren from living under Taliban rule, below would be my sense of urgency and commitment to that end as I raced towards my demise. It is not quite as fast as John Cena ran to apologize to the Chinese Communist Party at the expense of the Chinese people, but who can keep up with that?

You couldn’t stop me my friends. I say that with my Christian faith at my back and you may say that with your Muslim faith at yours. I’m not sure any of us can say with 100% certainty what eternity looks like other than to say that its sure to be a much longer affair than this passing life. Americans are so convinced of this fact that 20 years ago, we set up shop in your county because the Taliban posed a mere passing threat to our liberty. It wasn’t even an existential threat to our liberty. The Taliban just sort of pissed off our liberty and we’ve been dropping bombs on them to prove a point for the past 20 years. Also, for 20 years, our men have died on your lands so that our children would not die in our land. That gig is up now and we are leaving. Young men of Afghanistan, that leaves you with your one chance to be free and I pity the man would preference life. More specifically, I pity your women and your children that you will abandon to Taliban rule. You’ve had an entire generation to prepare for this moment. Please don’t blow your one chance to live free for something as silly as to remain alive. Give me liberty or give me death is perhaps one of the wisest uses of words in this temporary existence we call life. Also, John Cena sucks.

Sidebar to My Fellow Americans

I know this may sound a little self-serving as a Marine veteran, but can we all just stop and thank God for our military tradition, culture, and history in America? That’s not to glorify war, but rather, to glorify that we have normalized our willingness to fight for our liberty. For us, it is just a given. It’s not a given in the rest of the world and even where you think others are free, they are not entirely so. Psst, I’m talking about you Europe. We have a culture that espouses, The Few, The Proud, The Marines and our young men clamor to join up. Meanwhile, in places like Afghanistan, they are starting right about here. Maybe John Cena can come give them a lesson on how to retreat and suck more.

That’s not entirely true as I know there are some top-notch Afghan forces and there are indeed young Afghan men willing to die. That is evidenced by those who are holding the line right now. Godspeed young men. However, it should be a national shame if the number of young Afghan men who preference life over liberty should outnumber those willing to die. To those Afghan men who are willing to hold the line, I salute you. You have every right to look down upon your fellow citizens who preference life over liberty. Sort of like how we look down on John Cena for prioritizing money over the countless humans locked in Chinese concentration camps.

Let us all be thankful for generations of men in years past who said for us all, Give me liberty or give me death. Young men of Afghanistan, this is your one shot. I pray you don’t blow for something as silly as living. I’m going to die. You are going to die. We are all going to die. Trust us when we say, it’s better to die free than to live in tyranny. With that, I’ll leave you with the parting words of William Wallace. Also, suck it John Cena.

If you want to learn how to be financially free, learn how to make good money writing with The Veteran Copywriter Here! Not you John Cena. You already have enough CCP money because you suck.

Jeff Edwards


  1. The Afghanis are already surrendering to the Taliban. Does not seem to be any Wallaces there.

  2. I spent four years of my life there and at one time thought it would change but sadly in spite of your point on article I no longer have faith in the Afghan willingness to fight an die. I am speaking collectively not individually. Also, there are many parallels to Afghanistan and Vietnam. Corrupt government etc that we propped up for so long. And the other side plays the long game so much better.
    I hope I am wrong as too many American lives and too much money was spent to just see it all go away

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